Ok people, please tell me who has won the mother of the year award, ever?
What was the criteria?
Who was the judge?
And what was the prize?
I know my sense of sarcasm isn't helpful here. But I wanted to say this to all the mothers who start their sentence with, "I am a lazy parent. I am a bad mother, I am struggling so much, something is wrong with me."
Your emotions are valid, real and if you want to sit in them for sometime you absolutely have the right to do so. But please make sure to get bored of them quickly, and leave them sitting and stand up and move on.
This is a very good time to ask myself, Iram did you do that?
No I did not until I realized I should and then I learned the art of MOVING ON.
My children are scared by my mood swings, short yelling outbursts, 20 to 30 minutes of exaggerated, loud ear drum shattering, lectures and even throwing things at them.
Yup I have done it all and I am a recovering angry parent.
My actions had nothing to do with my parenting honestly. I was acting out due to my unmet emotional, psychological needs and wrong expectations.
Mom guilt is real. I guess it is to keep ourselves in check. I understand we are heartbeats, experiences, hopes and desires packaged into a body that has roles to play for rest of our lives.
So what do we do. We create our own sense of balance. We struggle, learn, fall, fail, try again and life becomes moments and lessons. How we recollect that journey and describe our memories and conversations is our choice.
There is no perfectionism in life, there shouldn't be one. Perfection is only for Allah Subhanahu Wa TALA . For us there is always a margin for error and getting better. Phew!
I am so glad we can go easy on the margin of error. We can be totally clueless about how wrong we are and be stubborn about it, but easily adapt to something better without hesitance when we are ready.
"Ready" is one word that motherhood struggles with.
It starts from "I am not ready to be a parent, to I am not ready to handle this".
And then what happens? :) We learn, adapt and become masters of our craft.
The craft of nurturing, loving, caring, taking our time and seeing ourselves and our children blossom.
O dear motherhood,
I am human, flawed and imperfect so please me patient with me.
you are new, shy, hesitant and learning everyday, please be patient with yourself.
So do what you need to do in order to become better at what you should do.
Parenting is a roller coaster of guilt trips, emotional highs and dips. All you can do is fasten your seat built and be extremely uncomfortable until you start enjoying the ride. You see the option of parenting has no refunds and raincheck. It's a permanent deal.
I end this post with this pic.
You see it's for pictures and moments like these that we say I accept to be a parent. How can I say no to this face:)