In my 14 years of parenting I learned
1: becoming a mother didn’t make me a better human,
A pregnancy and delivery doesn’t make you a good parent, learning to become a better human does
2: having children didn’t make me responsible,
Knowing my purpose, my identity my role in this world did
3: I was not excited to stay up all night feel groggy all day and hold the baby while doing house chores when my back hurt and was something I dreaded regularly,
I didn’t do my research before becoming a parent, I read about the body, but forgot to nourish the soul,I realized, parenting is an open book exam for life, so I have time and I am learning.
4: I used to panic and cry out more than the baby sometimes because I just couldn’t figure out what was wrong,
Feeling sorry for myself didn’t solve anything, so I learned the hard way, this gift of mine requires a strong care taker, the one that can stay calm, analyze the situation, look for answers, uh..I am a detective for life! I had always loved mystery genre,now I will live it live everyday for the rest of my life,Congratulations!
5: becoming a mother didn’t give me strength, it fatigued me, drowned me into self loathing at times
But the giggles,smiles, all the firsts and wet kisses made it all worthwhile(actually no, that’s just a masking tape.) the deeper issue remained and on further research I realized, I do not know empathy, so I learned gratitude, self care and compassion, it helped me come a long way.
6: I really thought hard and long after becoming a mother, why did I do it?
The answers were horrible, “because that’s what happens after marriage, because everyone wanted us to have children, because I was bored of my husband(truth,I should have gotten a pet not become pregnant!)”
I overcame my dilemma by gradually transitioning into a conscious Muslim understanding Quran, grounding myself spiritually and emotionally and came to the conclusion: this world is to procreate, work for the next life and leave a legacy.
Ever since I am at a much better place emotionally, morally, ethically, logically and sincerely❤️
Parenting, being a mother is tough. The toughest job that you sign up for and can never resign from. If done right the results are fabulous, if done wrong, well, we face the consequences.No manual prepares a parent for what’s about to come, because remember we are humans first and sometimes our humans react to children before the parent in us does.
And so we end up hurting our own children.
Live by the code :
“A taqwa filled human first, will be a kind, peaceful, generous parent forever”
Parenting becomes uncomplicated when the human in the parent becomes calm and wise.
A spiritually and an emotionally well balanced ethical, educated human being, can and always will be the best parent to any child at any stage of their life, guaranteed!
Parenting uncomplicated by IrambintSafia.