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When Parenting is new, lonely and confusing

If someone would have told me in 2005 when I was expecting my first born, that parenting is going to be a tough ride, a gullible me would have said, well how difficult can it be to feed, change a diaper and put the baby to sleep? Fast forward, 14 years later, I would say it was tough. It was tough giving up my sleep, fearing the worst could happen, not knowing what to do and dealing with emotional instability which later I found out is known as postpartum depression.

It was excruciating when I couldn't put my needs before my child's. A fact that most new mothers come to term with. That hot cup of tea, was always cold by the time I got to it. That

smoothie I loved so much was always shared by the baby who wanted to take a sip. The hot meals I served to my spouse and family were my comfort food into the late hours when the baby slept.

I know it sounds torturous, and believe me that's exactly how I felt. I thought to myself, so that's why they call it a sacrifice.I am sacrificing my sanity, sleep , hunger, for this bundle of joy. But wait a minute, where is my joy? Yes I love the baby but I love myself too!


Today most of the first time parents arent living in joint family systems or have extra hands to help them with the new baby. It takes a village to raise a child, we have heard this term over and over again, however the current lifestyles don't allow us this luxury.

The thought processes have been coerced by social norms, social media, false depiction of what life should be and misleading perceptions by the entertainment industry. ( I do like good movies and dramas, just not everything in the name of entertainment)


So how do we take the narrative in our own hands?

  1. We connect with our Creator. It can be through dua, zikr, learning through Quran, scholars, books. There is an abundance of authentic resources. Choose wisely.

  2. Ask from the seasoned parents. Choose your group of mentors, counselors.The ones you trust and respect. Learn by asking questions and seeking answers.

  3. Have faith in your God given abilities. Trust Allah's plan and know that The One who has bestowed upon you this duty, knows you are more than capable of learning and doing the best you can.

  4. Gratitude, is the best attitude. Trust me, we have been given so much to be grateful for.


Reflections

In every Sajud, I thank you Rab, for the seen and unseen blessings. For a heart that feels and the limbs that act to gain Your pleasure. I am a soul, struggling each day to understand the lessons life throws at me. I fumble and fall, unsure I turn to you only, the protector of Hearts, the most Wise , the most Merciful.



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